Crunch?

I don't even know if we are in a 'crunch'. Everyone has brides so anxious about time lines, that it takes away from the entire experience.

I am just over 10 months away from getting hitched and I feel panicked about everything I don't have. I feel like I should have more done and honestly I feel lazy.

Although plenty has been accomplished and with how much our venue includes there isn't much more to consider I want to be doing more. My focus for the last few weeks has been wedding dress.

I found the one I want... or at least the one I think I want to base my wedding dress on, because I do want to have it paid. Its more affordable and I love the idea of having a one off dress. I am scared because when buying it off the rack you know what you're getting... you're probably wearing it as you make the decision to spend thousands of dollars. Having the dress made means you are hoping for the best... you don't get to see the completed dress until weeks before the wedding when it is entirely too late to order another one (apparently even ordering now is a little late- WTF). Its a little nerve racking and with summer vacations I haven't been able to get a hold of my dress maker, which is even more stressful.

I am also itching to try the dress on again. I want to be sure. I also want some further opinions, but no where within 100km of me has the dress. Every bridal boutique I contact offers to order it for me, but no one has it to try on (I tried it on in Kingston). I should be excited to spend an afternoon with the girls trying on dresses, but honestly I am afraid of getting confused. What if I find another dress? What if I don't know which I prefer?

I also hate the burden of asking women to come with me. Everyone says they would be honored, but after the big fiasco with my former MOH I am afraid to ask anyone for anything wedding related... I don't want to be a nuisance (Really, what bride does?).

I also understand that there is a lot of wedding stuff coming up (D & C's wedding is in ONE month) and to me that is great, but to people not enthralled in wedding planning its annoying and expensive. I hate that side of it too... why does everything (not included in the wedding) have to cost SO much? Bridal Showers, Stag & Doe, Bachelor party, registry... its all a cash grab and involves so many presents... As anyone that knows me knows... I hate presents, it just makes me uncomfortable.

Sorry... got lost on a rant there.

I guess the point is... I want to be excited, but I am too wrapped up in time lines and obligations I am not enjoying any part of it... aside from the countdown to being Richard's wife (which I really like... 326 days).

Oh and the honeymoon... I LOVE planning the honeymoon.

Whewf... I am very glad I have this site to vent. Remember, for wedding details and information visit http://www.thezukis.wedsite.com/. This site is just for me to discuss the stresses and successes of wedding planning.

Thanks for reading!